Why, when I meet stillness
Does your shadow invade
I overwhelmed the air with soy candles long ago
The odor of jasmine, oud, and sandalwood
To deaden your scent
But I can’t remove your stain from my sweaters

I ordered a new wardrobe
Slim fit, like you always wanted
And started working out again

I contemplated, at least for a few moments, becoming a vegan
Until I recalled the taste of your honey soy chicken

Eckhart Tolle’s teachings sit on my nightstand
Unread, like all the letters I sent

Meditation unsettles me
So I sit and write
Determined to make sense of this desolation
Like a boy breathing into a deflated balloon
Dejected, collecting the remnants of what once was
A fractured dream I’m unable to repair
With these fumbling fingertips

Is it just, as the crow insists, impending death I fear
Or more acutely, dying without you by my side

Follow Instagram @jonalexandernyc

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store